What's Left "Old School" Writing?

I created a LiveJournal account recently in hopes of using it to study for comps; however, I’ve rarely used it since I’ve been taking notes and writing by hand—the “old school” way. LiveJournal doesn’t really appeal to me anymore because journals seem to be more about intimacy and remains a tool which serves to give an individual the right to enjoy and secure their privacy.

So what benefits have I received by writing long hand? Lots of hand cramps! There is a lot of pain but also endurance. As I write numerous notes, ideas and fragments for evidence from readings, I’m struggling with my poor left hand, who hasn’t given up on me yet. Yes, I’m a Southpaw. All throughout my years as a student in public schooling, I struggled with desks designed for right handed students. Talk about being isolated!

Even though I choose to struggle with my left hand, I always have a sense of accomplishment writing by hand. I feel free with my ideas and a blank page. I can scratch, draw and erase. I can do and undo. I can see all of my notes and drafts as a journey toward that last draft. Because of this sense of freedom, I now write in my journal by hand. I draw and paint. I’ve even used a black marker to scratch out portions that I want out forever. I censure myself. I revise myself. All of this writing is coming from my instrumental hand which cannot function the same way in typing. Writing using a laptop is nothing like playing the piano. It’s not artistic like writing by hand. Yet, writing by hand is more troublesome. It’s more disruptive. It’s an act of hard work…stemming from the physical not technological.

So, at this point, I have written all of my papers by hand. I am writing for comps by hand. I write in my diary by hand. I guess you could call me “a Southpaw on overdrive.” Writing cannot surface by punching those stubborn keys on the board, it has to come through those fingers in unison working to shape that letter, word, image giving me some voice that I sometimes worry is dangerously formulaic. The audience is too close when I am in front of a laptop or computer screen. I can evict the audience when I am in front of that blank page. I can just ask as many questions and complicate things as much as I want while my hand dances across the page. When did I come to this realization? Hmmm…let me think…I guess when I started writing in a journal shortly after entering college.

Please don’t think that I want to romanticize or idealize writing in a journal. Journals often stress me out with those dictating lines across each page. Those lines want to direct me too much. I want them erased so I can write in slant or draw backwards. In other words, they cut into my creativity. But not creativity in terms of creative writing, creativity in terms of drafting an essay or term paper. This has nothing to do with psychology; it has to do with ritual.

There may be no lines on LiveJournal but the final product, after being posted, shows up in neat and linear lines for an audience. My writing is put into a linear box with lines that don’t understand the messiness of all my thoughts. Same goes for eblogger (thanks for the rigid margins, y’all!)

So with more thoughts, come more blank pages. With more blank pages, my left paw keeps going…energized….with hand soreness and all.

Hasta la proxima.